some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
