well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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