i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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