I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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