Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
