Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Holy sore nipples Batman
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
