I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I got inside last night via doggy door
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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