ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
