I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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