All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You are a genius and a whore.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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