I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
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i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.