My Higher Power is John Stamos
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again