A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
