Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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