**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
