I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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