Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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