remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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