I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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