3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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