I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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