You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
