hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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