there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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