I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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