My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
worst night to have a conscience
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
