I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
