she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
