I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
