dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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