Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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