Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
