Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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