Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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