His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
