He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
