Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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