oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
