So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think my moral compass just broke
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
