i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize