well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
