That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
