Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
