Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
