I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
