I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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