**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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