I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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