Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he was CRYING into my vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
