Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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