do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
