So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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