wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Randomize