I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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