Christians are straight up FREAKS
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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