Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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