I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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